back to august 2023 entries

01:16 - August 5th 2023

being home alone for a week is so cool actually

y'know. at first i was scared because I thought it'd be offputting to be all alone like this. While it is for a bit, knowing I can decide to do the chores whenever I feel like it, and also knowing without me it won't get done; it motivates me to do them.

That's why now I feel so much more wanting to live at my own place. Doing everything whenever!

Also, singing, dancing and everything else. No one is there to see, and that's super cool!

I'm mostly doing this entry to explain why I have not updated the site is such a while. It's just that I've not had the chance to post anything I wanted. Once school ended (which, by the way, I passed!) I felt like so much pressure I accumulated throughout the year (I managed to turn every homework on time, somehow) was let out of me in such a fast time that I just, didn't do much.

I want to work on so many things I cannot... I wanted to work on my 3D skills so I'd be ready for school, but... I guess I'm going to train anyway once I know the basics. I'm going to use that knowledge for modding, and potentially commissions even, if I can.

11CG is still my priority...

I feel like, y'know, despite us only having released something that isn't that good technically, but good to our eyes when we realize the work it required... Still makes me super happy to even just, look at the future brightly.

Indie game development is not easy, but if I can make sure that friends & I can live off that (if they want to); I'd be happy. I won't hesitate to sacrifice my future income if it means I can make content I want to see in the world--

That's something I keep thinking about. It's not that easy to just be like... "I want to fully dedicate my time to this!" But when you're an adult, there's not much you can do.

One thing I really want to do, is work for an entire year, keeping All that money I earned and using it to just-- leave and live a life in one of those vans. I think it's a life that can suit me; as I don't really plan to live my life with other people that much.

It may seem lonely to you, but seeing people online is enough to me, sometimes. I do need the physical contact from time to time, but living in a van doesn't mean people can't come see you! or even, the opposite! You're in a van for some reason!!!

I know they're expensive, though. but oh, the price to pay for living a life away from a bunch of worries.

I think I'd only do that from the moment I manage to be freelance for a bit, because it's not exactly easy to be like "Well, now I have money, so I can retire at the young age of 25!" because, just, if something expensive breaks, you're fucked.

But goddamn!!! understand me!!! Although, i'd probably park somewhere I can have internet~ I need to have a data plan that can make me have illimited data too~ i play ff14~

That's all for my life plans.

Note: I really want to redraw the U22 Cast. I looked at them, and wow. this style does not fit me now HUH

My life may not be as bright as I want it to be, or as shiny; and I may not be as good as I think at things I do; but... I feel (k)enough for myself.