I really hope I won't be burnt out after this. I'm so tired.
Even after I got extra delay for the comic; it feels like... at this point I'm working way too hard on it and... Man does it feel bad, honestly.
It is making me realize a bunch of things, I guess. Such as doing things for myself. I have experimented way more on my art lately due to this comic being the only thing I do; and I kinda want to get off it for a while, but I cannot.
It's not making me hate the characters; but it feels way more "mechanical" than "artistic"; and it's something I hate... but I don't mind.
Been considering going back to my old job for the summer; which feels so. Bad due to all I've said before about my job; but... I need that money to go to Japan when imas TOURS releases! And also, to see some friends and who knows, maybe family.
I've been wondering if I could live there, the moment I become a freelancer; if that's a goal I can even achieve (will try). So I can hang out more with a friend that lives there!!! But it'll all depend on how SideM does as well, and I wouldn't mind getting a remote job as well.
Idk. The only reason I want to go there is to be closer to the media I consume and to the merchandise; also the Arcades. of course. As a rhythm game player there's nothing I want more than to be able to go to an arcade and to be able to just. JAM. i NEED to play the imas songs on the maimai cabinets SO BAD
sorry for ranting <\3 I just am very tired, just want to play with friends, I'm not sure how I'm going to face the teacher tomorrow as I skipped doing a specific homework to focus on the comic. man
At least... I'm learning a lot. setting challenges is motivating. and very exhausting.
My next challenge being to actually do a PV!! for a song!!! I like!! which feels like a Very achievable dream after doing a comic and also tons of storyboards!!! man!!! I LOVE ART SCHOOL FOR THAT HONESTLY!!!
A ton of people might think Art School is unnecessary; and I'd say it depends on the person. Someone that already likes doing everything and is very confident might not need it; as they'll improve as they do new things constantly ESPECIALLY if they're not afraid of failure.
but I'm not very confident at all... At the start of the year (and even still today) I hate when people ask me to draw or when I have to show my drawing in front of everyone. I just don't like being the center of attention, but I also love the attention when people tell me something I did is good. It's kinda why I deleted that Seiji drawing the other day.
The lack of interaction and of people telling me it's good, plus me being unable to post that drawing for feedback to friends, plus rushing it for No Reason At All... This was a combination of things I hate.
I'll be fine without the attention, but seeing people like the post about me saying it's on my NSFW account and then noticing the tweet still has no likes, feels like a ... "ah, I disappointed them" moment... Even I know my drawings are not that great, and that other artists are waay more competent than me especially when it comes to nsfw artists and the whole sphere,
Which is why I was feeling so much like I disappointed people, even though they had never asked me nor paid me to do it; and I made myself believe that even though no one ever said it. Social media sucks!!!!